If I could, I would take over the world and mandate all these changes and rules that I think it would be appropriate in this sad sad excuse of the society and the world we live in. But let's face it.. I cant take over the world much less I can take over my simple little apartment I live in. Therefore, I am just gonna say whats on my mind and just go with the flow... These are my rules...
When I'm at work..I can't say what company I work for but I CAN say this.. I work at a convenience store that sells gas, beer, and cigarettes. OK, now that I got that out of the way, let my rules commence...
1. Reckless speeding:
When you drive in the parking lot, You shall not exceed the reasonable speed limit. Trust me, if you speed inside the parking lot, I have NO desire for you to make my store a drive through. That would be counter-productive and needless to say, rather expensive for you to repair the store, and your car. Trust me.. The store is brick and mortar.. It's not going anywhere! Free Fountain drinks if you do manage to hit a couple of customers who I hate. :)
2. Figuring out what pump you are.
I mean, come on!! How difficult is it for you to actually look at the number of what pump you are on? I mean, seriously?? FOR REAL?? You come inside, and tell me that you want to put X amount of dollars so you can pump gas, It would be greatly appreciated if you can tell me with accuracy what pump you are on. I can't help you at all because you decided to be stupid at that particular moment.
This one really really REALLY chaps my ass...
3. Asking a very dumb question that you already know the answer to.
IE: "Do you do cash back on credit card?" or "Do you do cash back?"
OK I admit, I dont go out that often.. But the company I work for, whom I shall not name.. Is a giant retail convenience store all over the area of San Antonio.. I mean, practically every corner on a major street, you see that godawful sign, the tedious colors and the sky high gas prices. Are you seriously telling me that you never stepped in any of the unnamed store and did cash back? I assure you, we do cash back. We do it everyday. In fact, we want to do it for you because we like giving money to you. But don't be coming inside the store and ask me that stupid question when you know DAMN well you can take cash out of your dinky account. If I had it my way.. I'd take a soft nerf bat and whap you upside the head for asking me that. Come to think of it, I would.. It would make my shift more fun to work!!
4. WTF are you wearing??
I may be old school.. Old fashioned.. Christ on a rubber crutch.. I'm getting old. OK enough ranting about my age. My nitpick here is how some... Oh how shall I say it diplomatically?? Impressionable young kids.. wearing their pants or shorts down to their knees?! Do I want to see your underwear? HELL NO! Why in God's name would I want to see your underwear??? It doesn't make you look cool or chic or whatever.. It makes you look like a freaking retard. Incapable of pulling up your pants. I mean seriously.. Is it that difficult to pull it up around your waist? If the pants and/or shorts are too big around your waist.. There's a nifty little thing called a BELT! Holy shit.. It was invented by a man or a woman and they thought "HEY!! If I put this animal hide and wrap it around my waist with a metal belt buckle.. Holy jumping beans!! My pants would stay RIGHT where they are so I won't go out looking like I'm a retard!!!" Yep, that person who invented the belt is about the most genius man I ever read about.. Put Einstein to shame if you ask me.
to be continued.. Please leave a comment or say hi so I can feel like someone actually read my blog and likeded it or hated it.. Please?
Sunday, September 26, 2010
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